The right way to be a boss

Last week, I was blasting overwrought and overwritten employee handbooks. (See "The world's shortest employee handbook.") I called attention to the Alabama A&M University personnel manual and its bereavement-leave policy in particular. The bereavement policy is robotically impersonal. Imagine being a valued member of the A&M faculty or staff, losing a family member, and then having to parse this:

Staff members shall, upon request, be granted up to three (3) days annually of bereavement leave for the death of a parent, spouse, child, brother or sister, grand parents [sic], grand parents-in-law, grandchild, son or daughter-in-law, mother-in law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, step children, children-in-law, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and first and second cousins. Other relationships are excluded unless there is a guardian relationship. Such leave is non-accumulative, and the total amount of bereavement leave will not exceed three days within any fiscal year. If additional days of absences are necessary, employees may request sick or annual leave, after providing an explanation of extenuating circumstances.

Now compare this sterile handling of employee-family death to the following tale from Brian McGrory's column in last week's Boston Globe. McGrory writes about a man named Jack Pichnarcik, whose 16-year-old son Mark died of leukemia. McGrory then writes about how the man's boss, trucking-parts-company owner Brian Pomerleau, treated his employee:

When Mark went into the hospital last November, Pomerleau told Jack to go be with his son, however long it was, and rest assured he wouldn't miss a day of pay.

He slipped Jack a couple of thousand extra dollars here and there over the next few months.

On the eve of Mark's death, Pomerleau quietly picked out a cemetery plot and made all the funeral arrangements himself, then headed to Boston to tell the Pichnarciks that everything was ready and funded, no questions asked or money accepted.

To me, Pomerleau shrugged it off, saying, "Hey, I made a few extra dollars in my life, so it's always nice to help someone you know."

This is the right way to be a boss. If employers acted more like Brian Pomerleau than like the handbook drones of Alabama A&M, they would attract better talent, and their companies would be more successful. Corporate bean counters who obsess over whether a bereaved employee took a day too many or lost a relative too distant should rethink their careers and find work that keeps them away from people.

Brian McGrory's complete column, called "Final Say," is here. Its title refers to the column's being his last, as the Globe has named Brian its news editor. Congratulations, Brian, and keep up the fine work.

Comments

[Evil HR Lady]

I agree--but not every company can afford to do what Brian Pomerleau did. They should make every effort to try, however.

I find that most managers (at least among exempt staff) are much more lenient than the handbook policies. When Evil Marketing Man's grandfather died, according to the official policy, I could take 1 day to attend the funeral.

Since the funeral was to be held 5 hours from our house, this was impossible. Fortunately my manager's response was "take whatever time you need."

One day probably would have been sufficient had they lived next door. But, they don't.

If your company is going to be stingy on berevement time, at least acknowlege that there may well be travel involved.

[Megan]

I couldn't agree with you more. Bosses with no genuine empathy and an obsessive need to track every dollar are only providing fuel for the disengaged workforce. It doesn't take much to act like human being - and the payback, although intangible, is significant

[Emily Coltman]

Not just in bereavement but in case of illness, bosses should be sympathetic.

While I was in my last job, my dad had a totally unexpected major heart attack. He was in the US at the time. I was in England.

I heard on a Saturday morning and promptly rang my boss to ask if I could go to the US to be with Dad.

"Just go" he said.

He didn't even mention that it was our busiest time of the year.